WHEN YOUR LOVED ONE IS ABUSED IN A NURSING HOME: A PERSONAL STORY

My sister opened the door of our mother’s nursing home room one afternoon just in time to see the nursing assistant hit her. It was a real haymaker that snapped Mother’s head back.

“Why did you hit my mother?” my sister asked.

“I asked her to sit up and she didn’t,” the young woman replied. Our mother was....

….FULL ARTICLE

MARRIED COUPLE MEDICAID ASSET PRESERVATION USING RESOURCE ASSESSMENTS

Medicaid Resource Assessment are an important tool to understand and utilize when one spouse is in need of long term care. A portion of the Medicaid rules is designed to protect the community spouse (spouse at home) from impoverishment and unnecessary dissipation of family assets. Only the institutionalized spouse (spouse in a facility) is required to have assets of $2,000 or less and a pre-paid funeral.

….FULL ARTICLE

CAREGIVER SUPPORT GROUPS: IS THERE ONE THAT’S RIGHT FOR YOU?

If you’re a caregiver, you may have already read articles about the importance of preventing burnout. Usually these articles include a suggestion to join a support group. Perhaps you’re reluctant to do so because you wonder what caregiver groups are all about and whether joining one would really help you.  The overall goal of caregiver support groups is to enhance participants’ coping skills through mutual support and information sharing. Objectives may include:.....

….FULL ARTICLE

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needs? Will you have your own room and bathroom? How accessible is the home? If adaptations are required, what is the estimated cost and who would pay?


Other Options. Before making a decision, explore alternatives: home healthcare and support services such as meals on wheels; live-in help; home renovations; and moving to a seniors’ apartment complex or assisted living facility.


The Decision. If you accept the offer, consider having a six-month trial period, with the understanding that you will pursue other options if you, your child or other household members feel it’s not working out.


Keep in mind that such a plan involves numerous changes that affect daily living. Everyone will require time to adjust, but challenges can usually be overcome if everyone is committed to making the arrangement work.

When seniors live alone, other people may have concerns about their physical or emotional welfare. Particularly if the senior has health problems or don’t live close by, a son or daughter may invite him or her to move in.


If you receive such an offer, ask yourself the following questions and take time to honestly and thoroughly answer each one before making a decision.


Interpersonal Issues. What kind of relationship do you have with your child? How well do they get along with others in their household? How well do you? If you need help, are you comfortable with the idea of role reversal?


Your Needs and Expectations. Would the move uproot you from important relationships and community connections? If you have a pet, can it be accommodated? If your child has pets, are you comfortable around them? If you have a chronic illness, how are your needs likely to change?


Your Family’s Needs and Expectations. Would you be expected to contribute to the household in practical ways, such as cooking meals or providing child care? Would your child or other household members be willing and able to provide the help you need?

SHOULD YOU MOVE IN WITH YOUR CHILD?

Lifestyle Issues. Do you and your child have similar lifestyles and values? Are differences likely to be a source of tension? How might your needs and preferences affect household members’ routines and responsibilities? Are they prepared to make adjustments?


Available Supports. Would you be within walking distance of a grocery store, pharmacy or bank? What about proximity to a place of worship? Would you be close to public transit routes? Would friends and former neighbors be able to visit? Consider the distance they would have to travel and their transportation options. If you have to move, how easily could you link with needed medical supports, such as a new family doctor? What community services are available to assist in meeting your needs, now or in the future?


Finances. How much would you be expected to contribute toward household expenses? Do you have savings or insurance that would cover the cost of needed medical equipment or healthcare services? If not, who would pay for them?


Home Setup. Is there sufficient space in the home to meet everyone’s privacy

LISA M. PETSCHE

Lisa M. Petsche is a social worker and a freelance writer specializing in boomer and senior health matters. She has personal and professional experience with eldercare.

more articles by lisa m. petsche